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God and American Idol...here it goes... [Monday, May 25th, 2009 @ 2:50pm]
Before I start this, I most note that these thoughts came to me on no sleep. And, I'm fine. Everyone's fine. I could explain this all away by saying I sometimes have a very one track mind. You know this if we are friends on facebook and twitter haha. This might be long, but you can stop reading whenever...I'm basically writing it down for myself. Here it goes.

So, I'm sitting in the car, on my way back to my brother's apartment so my mom can get the stuff she left there, with a 4 hour car ride ahead of me. My parents are fighting, and I feel a little bit of guilt about it, cause I'm slightly involved. Anyway, I'm texting my brother to see if anyone has any earphones I can trade bc mine aren't getting loud at all and I really don't want to hear this fight for 4 hrs. This text conversation goes "its not your fault...he needs to hear it...they have stressful lives...ect..." (No, there were no louder headphones to be had)...

That last thing got me. They do have stressful lives, partly bc of me (and lots of other people, I know) and all I want is louder headphones so I can drown them out with Kris Allen music, which will calm me down and reassure me that even though I sit around a lot, wondering how in the world I am going to make anything happen for myself, its OK, because a lot of other people go through that, and I just have to somehow make things happen. (If you have Brand New Shoes, that should make total sense to you)...

Here's the good part. My parents work so hard (as do others), at middle class jobs basically every day, and pay the bills and we live fine...But, its just so weird to me that like, that might never change, yet millions of people voted for Kris Allen the other night and changed his life in a day (or the course of a few months, however you look at it).

Don't get me wrong, we know I love him and AI and all that good stuff. He deserves it. I'm sure he's worked hard at it for years, I love his music and am glad we all are giving him the chance to make it. But...I just started wondering how God picks people. I don't want to sing or anything, but why him and not us??? I guess AI really means nothing in this, bc you could really just say why anyone and not anyone else, that's just where my mind went.

I could work as hard as I want to in my life and never get to write for a big name magazine, for a number of different reasons. Yet God chose to change this 1 or 2 or 3 or 4 or 10 people's lives. I was just wondering why...and asking.

I mean, I think I was thinking on a smaller scale too. Like I literally want to make anything happen in my life right now. I'm sick of sitting in my house taking a computer science class online and not having a car and constantly wondering how and when I will ever get the chance to tell someone their music matters. I can make that person a celebrity overnight, yet, that also makes him untouchable so its a long shot that I will ever get to say anything to him.

I cried for like 6 minutes bc I felt a little responsible for the fight, then I thought about that, and was wondering how long it will take for me to make something happen in my life. Looking back, it wasn't really a struggle, I was just questioning how God works and life and bc I'm a dork, the concept of American Idol triggered it.

I don't know if that makes sense. It does to me. My parents are fine and my life is OK, just a bit boring right now...maybe I'm jealous??? I don't know. Anyway, that was that.
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[Friday, March 23rd, 2007 @ 5:16pm]
[ mood | okay ]

Dr. Schlecht is amazing........

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FRIENDS ONLY [Friday, February 2nd, 2007 @ 7:05pm]

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Life... [Friday, January 26th, 2007 @ 9:54am]
[ mood | bored ]

It's before 10:00 AM and I'm posting an entry...isn't that amazing???

So, here's where I stand on transfering...I'm probably not going to, I'm probably justt going to create my own major. It's cool that you could do that, so basically you can graduate from Muhlenberg with any type of degree you want. And you can take classes from other schools, so you are not as limited in your choices of classes.

But if I do transfer, it will be to Hofstra. I probably should have looked there in the first place. It has little to do with wanting to be home though, although that would be nice too. But I'd dorm. The thing is, the only other school I'd be interested in was Emerson, 4 hrs from home. It's like Muhlenberg with only Art & Comm. majors and 1000 more kids. The only thing that I might benefit from is the 1000 more kids, who might be less rich, considering the tuition is a little more than half of Muhlenberg's. But it might not make that much of a difference. And I can't start over socially, even though I'm only making tiny steps. It would be different at Hofstra, because there is a bigger disabled community, i'm told. Which I'd love to have where I am, I reluctantly admit. That should have been a consideration.

So, I have an appointment with the Career Center on Monday, because I'd like to have at least a general path.

Other than that I'm boring. At this second I'm annoyed bc I can't find my remote and I'm pissed off at the bookstore for never having what I need, but in general, I'm just bored.

I find it funny how my weekend must consist of catching up on Critical Thinking, if the book ever comes in. And trying to figure out how to do two creative, conceptual art pieces. I borrowed paint from work to paint on myself.

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[Monday, September 11th, 2006 @ 12:40am]
We were sposed to do the rest of The Birdcage and chineese tonight......but people had mad work so I went to the Dress Upon A Star meeting and then I chilled here and did the rest of my reading. I should actually do more but I'm not in the mood.

4 days, 23 hrs and 16 minutes till my birthday peoples!!!!!!
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yay for doing things..... [Sunday, September 10th, 2006 @ 2:11am]
[ mood | tired ]

"Tonight" we GQed it at like 11...then went back to Michael's dorm to watch The Birdcage...got through less than half of that...Oh and there was dinner and nonsense before that...and this MTA dance after dinner that was nothing to speak of...tomorrow I have to do work....

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Journal Clensing.... [Thursday, July 20th, 2006 @ 7:29pm]

Totally copying Sarah, I've decided that my journal needs a major clensing. So, I will be leaving communities that I never should have joined and taking some of you off of my friends list, if you choose to be removed. The thing is, I write in here a lot. I understand that some of it, especially recently is rather hard to comment on. But, as I have a personal notebook also, because I wouldn't feel mentally stable at all if I didn't write in one, the stuff I write in here is meant to be at least read, if not commented on...So, if you conviently scroll past my entries every day, please don't comment to this post...

But, if for some odd reason you enjoy reading about my oftentimes unnecessarily emotionally charged life, please do comment to this so I leave you on my list. But also, please try to comment more so I feel like this journal has more of a purpose...I'm going to clear everyone and add you back as you comment, so if you like me...please do!

Also, although I haven't left an entry public in about 1 year...this one will remain public in case some random stranger is intrigued by this entry for some random reason and wants to read this...

Anyway, that's all...

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[Tuesday, May 9th, 2006 @ 6:19pm]
[ mood | weird ]

If you have an IEP and it happens to be lying on the table while you are innocently eating a banana, don't pick it up and read it...unless you'd enjoy feeling like a living science experiment...Just take a picture, cover me in plastic and put me under a microscope why don't you...

I'm not like crying, but it's not a good feeling...I enjoy feeling human, thanks...

Here we are so what you gonna do?
Do I gotta spell it out for you?
I can see that you got other plans for tonight
But I don’t really care

Size me up you know I beat the best
Tick tock no time to rest
Let them say what their gonna say
But tonight I just don’t really care

Come on baby we ain’t gonna live 4ever
Let me show you all the things that we could do
You know you wanna be together
And I wanna spend the night with you
Yeah, yeah with you, yeah, yeah
Come with me tonight
We could make the night last 4ever

I’ve seen it all I’ve got nothing to prove
Come on baby just make your move
Follow me lets leave it all behind tonight
Like we just don’t care

Let me take you on the ride of your life
That’s what I said alright
They can say what they wanna say
Cause tonight I just don’t even care

Come on baby we ain’t gonna live 4ever
Let me show you all the things that we could do
You know you wanna be together
And I wanna spend the night with you
Yeah, yeah with you yeah, yeah
Come with me tonight
We could make the night last 4ever

Lets pretend you’re mine
We could just pretend, we could just pretend, yeah yeah
You got what I like
You got what I like, I got what you like
Oh come on
Just one taste and you’ll want more

So tell me what your waiting for

Come on baby we ain’t gonna live 4ever
Let me show you all the things that we could do
You know you wanna be together
And I wanna spend the night with you
Yeah, yeah, with you, yeah, yeah
So come with me tonight
We could make the night last 4ever

Come on baby we ain’t gonna live 4ever
Let me show you all the things that we could do
You know you wanna be together
And I wanna spend the night with you
Yeah, yeah with you, yeah, yeah
Come with me tonight
We could make the night last 4ever

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Crrraaaazzzy! [Friday, May 5th, 2006 @ 6:37pm]
[ mood | crazy ]

I ate doughnuts in english to celebrate the AP being over,good talk with ms. F, did nothing in physics cause of the US ap. Like no one was there...Prizzi was absent, no econ test...so that ends my day...Ammmaaazzzingly NOTHING. It was heaven...

Let's get CRAAAAAAZY!...i had the overwhelming urge to use the word "orgasmic" in conversation
Got a 67 on a physics test and I don't even care...my average? 64?? It makes no sense but I don't care...
and I'm a Blue Margarita apparently...

You Are a Blueberry Margarita

Honestly, there's no one quite like you. And believe it or not, most people think that's a bad thing!

You're open, wild, friendly, wacky, and tons of fun. You have a big personality... and a big heart.

I got this big package thing from Muhlenberg about June Advisong...Don't wanna talk about it...

I feel weird....
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she FINALLY popped! [Tuesday, April 18th, 2006 @ 10:33pm]
[ mood | nervous ]

The TomKitten Suri blah blah blah something with an ette at the end of it Holmes-Cruise has arrived...

Katie, you fiiinalllllly popped, now that you can...take your daughter and run, katie run!!!!!!

If she doesn't, I'm not sure I believe in God but...God help and bless that little girl!

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